hi,
i have 15 minutes to write this topic.bacause i have to study.i took a cup of coffee, the fourth cup of coffe of the day...
you know what?
i think i'am a lazy student who spends all her time thinking of nothing.
i'am lazy,
i'am stupid,
i'am boring...

but like Sarah Barry says-my french friend,living in Brighton- i'am a brave person.
i know that i am a brave person because i came here to finish my story.
My story which started in İstanbul.And it will finish in İstanbul.
It's a very complicated story.A lot of suffering moments...
Alone at home in front of the pc, in front of the books, some law books...
I don't even have a picture album with me...It sucks all these things...
I know that i'am lonely in this fucking world but sometimes i feel the existence of some other one's who survive.
I missed you Sarah Barry, my intelligent friend.My best french friend.You will see the finish band.
I can do it.I have did it.But maybe you can be with me during all these fucking time.
I lost my mom, ı lost my sister, ı lost my dad.I refound my sister and my dad.But i can't remplace the place of my mom.ıt's not possible.anyway, she isn't that woman i loved anymore.She uses my mother's name.
Do you want to know why i adore Adolf Hİtler?
Because he refuse the existence of the inability, powerless, incompetence, weakness...
We have to be powerfull my friend.We don't have ant other chance.
I'm not a princess, i'm not a rich person.
I have only my brain and my little heart.I'am sorry for my heart...
I can live with this weak heart.But i think someone can take it.If someone takes it this year maybe it can be bigger than now.
So, could you be more gentil with me?
I'm not the person you see.i want to breathe.i want a peacefull life maybe with someone.but please don't break my heart.

Sorry my brain and my future.I depassed time which consecrated to me.
Everything will be allright.See you.please love me my diary.

P.S: i'm sorry for my english,my first foreign language is french.but i suppose you can understand me.